There are parts of ourselves we show easily.
The parts we're proud of.
The qualities we recognize as strengths.
The version of ourselves we comfortably present to the world.
And then there are the other parts.
The emotions we push down.
The reactions we don't quite understand.
The insecurities we'd rather not admit.
The memories we avoid.
The pieces of our stories we've tucked away because somewhere along the way, we decided they were better left unseen.
These are often referred to as our shadow.
And despite how the word may sound, your shadow isn't something dark or frightening hiding inside you.
It's simply part of you that may be asking to be understood.
🌑 What Is Shadow Work?
The idea of the "shadow" is often associated with psychologist Carl Jung, who used the term to describe aspects of ourselves that exist outside our conscious awareness.
Throughout our lives, we learn which parts of ourselves feel acceptable.
Maybe you were told not to cry.
Not to be angry.
Not to be too loud.
Too sensitive.
Too needy.
Too ambitious.
Too different.
So we adapt.
We learn to tuck certain parts of ourselves away.
But those parts don't necessarily disappear.
Sometimes they show up later through our reactions, relationships, fears, triggers, patterns, or the stories we continue telling ourselves.
Shadow work is simply the practice of becoming curious about those hidden places.
Not so we can judge them.
So we can understand them.
🪞 When Something Triggers You
Have you ever had a reaction that felt much bigger than the situation?
Someone says something relatively small...
and suddenly you're furious.
Or hurt.
Or defensive.
Or you feel rejected, overlooked, embarrassed, or not good enough.
Sometimes our strongest reactions aren't only about what's happening in the present moment.
They're touching something older.
Maybe being ignored today touches the part of you that once felt invisible.
Maybe criticism touches the part of you that learned you had to be perfect to feel accepted.
Maybe someone's success brings up a dream you quietly abandoned.
Maybe someone's confidence bothers you because there's a part of you that wishes you felt free enough to take up that much space.
Our triggers aren't always comfortable.
But they can be incredibly revealing.
Instead of immediately asking:
Why am I reacting like this?
Try asking:
What might this reaction be showing me?
That small shift moves us from judgment into curiosity.
🍂 Your Shadow Isn't Your Enemy
We sometimes approach healing as though we need to eliminate every uncomfortable part of ourselves.
Fix the insecurity.
Stop the anger.
Erase the fear.
Get over the past.
Become more positive.
But what if healing isn't about getting rid of those parts?
What if it's about understanding why they're there?
Anger may have once protected a boundary.
Perfectionism may have developed because making mistakes didn't feel safe.
People-pleasing may have begun as a way to maintain connection.
Hyper-independence may have grown from learning that relying on others could lead to disappointment.
Even the parts of ourselves we struggle with often have a story.
And when we understand the story, we can begin asking whether we still need the behavior—and whether the emotions connected to it still belong to who we are becoming.
We can appreciate what once protected us without allowing it to continue running our lives.
🕯️ Shine a Little Light
Shadow work doesn't require digging through every painful experience you've ever had.
You don't need to uncover everything at once.
In fact, you shouldn't have to force anything.
Start with what is already showing itself.
A recurring pattern.
A reaction.
A fear.
Something you keep avoiding.
Something that repeatedly bothers you.
Then become curious.
You might ask:
When have I felt this way before?
What am I afraid might happen here?
What do I need in this moment?
Is this belief actually mine, or did I learn it somewhere along the way?
Sometimes the answers come immediately.
Sometimes they don't.
That's okay.
The purpose isn't to interrogate yourself.
It's simply to listen.
💎 Crystal Wisdom for Shadow Work & Self-Reflection
If crystals are part of your personal practice, you may choose to work with stones traditionally associated with grounding, reflection, and emotional awareness.
Black Obsidian — Often associated with truth and deep self-reflection. Obsidian is sometimes called a mirror stone because of its connection with seeing what lies beneath the surface.
Smoky Quartz — A grounding stone that can be helpful when deeper reflection begins to feel emotionally heavy.
Labradorite — Associated with transformation, intuition, and discovering what may exist beneath the surface.
Rose Quartz — A gentle reminder to bring compassion into the process. Looking inward doesn't have to mean being hard on yourself.
Shadow work isn't about finding more reasons to criticize yourself.
It's about learning to meet yourself with greater awareness.
📓 A Simple Shadow Reflection
Find a quiet place where you can sit for a few minutes without distraction.
Bring your journal and a crystal if you'd like.
Think about something that has recently triggered an emotional reaction in you.
Then write:
What happened?
What did I feel?
What did I immediately believe about the situation?
And then ask:
What might this be showing me about myself?
Don't worry about finding the perfect answer.
Write what comes.
You may discover that your reaction isn't entirely about what happened today.
Maybe there's an older story underneath it.
If there is, simply notice it.
You don't have to solve it tonight.
Sometimes seeing the pattern is enough for now.
🌗 Light & Shadow Belong Together
We spend so much of our lives trying to become the version of ourselves we think we're supposed to be.
More confident.
More peaceful.
More successful.
More healed.
More positive.
But being whole doesn't mean becoming a person who only exists in the light.
Look at nature.
Day becomes night.
Summer becomes autumn.
Leaves bloom and eventually fall.
Light creates shadow.
Both exist.
And both belong.
Maybe the goal isn't to eliminate every shadow within us.
Maybe it's learning to sit beside those parts of ourselves long enough to understand what they've been trying to tell us.
Because sometimes the part of you you've been avoiding...
is simply another part of your story waiting to be heard.
💖 A Note From Me
I've come to realize that some of the most important things I've learned about myself haven't come from the moments when everything felt easy.
They've come from the moments when something bothered me enough to make me stop and ask why.
Why did that hurt so much?
Why am I reacting this way?
Why does this keep happening?
Sometimes I find an answer.
Sometimes I find another question.
And sometimes I discover something I thought I'd already worked through.
I've learned not to see that as going backward.
We're layered.
And as we grow, we sometimes become ready to see things we couldn't see before.
So if something within you is asking for your attention this season, you don't have to be afraid of it.
Turn toward it gently.
Listen.
Get curious.
You might discover that your shadow isn't something you need to fight at all.
It may simply be another part of you asking to finally be seen. 🌑
With love,
Tracey 💖
Living with the Seasons is an ongoing Crystals by the Sea series exploring the ways nature, crystals, reflection, and simple practices can help us move more intentionally through the seasons of our lives.
